My COVID Journey- Fight for Me
Salisbury Post- September 27, 2020
It was 8 a.m. The 20-minute drive felt like an eternity. I knew I was way too sick to be driving alone. But, I did not want to spread this illness to my family.
I had zero doubt that it was COVID. As I drove up for the test, I was so afraid for the nurse who administered it. I know she was protected — but still. She was my hero that day.
The drive home. Back in bed. Away from my family. Awaiting results.
COVID was a stranger to me at that time — I knew no one who had it. I had social distanced. My family had stayed home as much as possible. I had worn my mask faithfully everywhere, and I was thankful that others did, too.
But with the masks on, I sure missed seeing smiles. Eye contact was even disappearing. Some days the world seemed a little cold. Other days it felt loving and unified — as we were all going through the pandemic. In some ways, it felt like being apart together.
At 8 p.m., I checked the healthcare website for my results.
They were there.
The words Positive (Abnormal) were hauntingly written in red.
It was shocking. COVID-19 was supposed to be something that I watched on the news — not something I had.
At that moment, my faith was very weak.
My first thoughts as I stared at the words — I’m going to die.
An uncontrollable stranger had invaded my body.
I did not know how to get rid of it.
What if my family gets it?
This was not just about me.
It was also about them — ages 13, 16, 35 and 72.
I need help. We need help.
It was dark — in more ways than one. Isolated in my room, I begged, “God, I feel like you still have a work for me to do. Please let me stay here to do it.”
How was I going to fight this? I would not — I could not — let it overtake my body.
Exhausted and sick, sleep finally came. But in the middle of the night I awoke to these words from Exodus 14:14 being put in my spirit, “You don’t have to fight. I will fight for you.
You just need to be at peace.”
The word of God clearly spoken to me in the middle of one of my darkest nights.
Fighting is good, but God fighting for me is better.
My COVID journey had begun.
Over the next few weeks, I will be sharing my COVID journey.