Summer homework?

Salisbury Post- June 15, 2019

Summertime…. and the living is easy. Unless your child has SUMMER HOMEWORK! During that last week of school, while students are tremendously excited about completing the school year and beginning the lazy hazy days of summer – a teacher often lovingly hands them their summer homework.

But…for those who were given no summer homework, here you go:

Q: What is one of the first math problems in the Bible?

A: Go 4th and multiply.

Q: What time of day was Adam created?

A: A little before Eve.

Q: Does Jesus want us to grow a garden?

A: Yes. He said, “Lettuce pray,” and “Peas be with you.”

Q: Should we learn division?

A: No, Jesus didn’t like division.

He said that if a house is divided, it cannot stand. (Mark 3:25)

 

Q: What is an example of an opposite?

A: Refuse the evil. Choose the good. (Isaiah 7:15)

Q: Did Jonah trust the ocean?

A: No, he knew something was fishy.

Q: Where is an example of ‘cause and effect’ in the Bible?

A: The work of righteousness shall be peace.

The effect of righteousness quietness and assurance forever. (Isaiah 32:17)

Cause is righteousness. Effect is quietness and assurance forever.

Take this to ‘heart’ and you may ‘cause an effect’ in someone’s life.

 

Q: Why didn’t they play cards on the ark?

A: Because Noah was standing on the deck.

 

Q: Where is a ositional word, geography, geometric term, and simile all in one verse?

A: God sits upon the circle of the Earth and its inhabitants are likegrasshoppers.

   (Isaiah 40:22)

 

Q: Where should we keep the commandments of God?

A: On the table of our heart. (Proverbs 7:3)

 

Q: What Bible verse has ordinals and addition?

A: Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness.

And all these things shall be added unto you. (Matthew 6:33)

 

Q: How many apples did Adam and Eve eat?

A: Adam 8 + Eve 8 = 16 apples

 

Q: What is the best multiplication fact?

A: Grace and peace be multiplied unto you. (2 Peter 1:2)

 

Q: What is the best subtraction fact?

A: Jesus will take away our sin. (1 John 3:5)

 

Homework for Parents:

 

Q: Who should prepare the morning coffee?

A: The men. The Bible says He-brews.

 

Q: How should we teach children to study the Bible?

A: Luke into it.

 

DISCLAIMER: (A disclaimer is a statement denying responsibility.) My readers know that my writing is much more intellectual and thought-provoking than this. My mind must be on summer break. Enjoy.

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